By Arun Jatkar, Monroeville PA
Arun Jatkar, a long-time resident of Monroeville, is also the editor of Ekata, the North-American Marathi monthly, and a past president of Toastmasters International. n
So the Pretty Woman is now a practicing Hindu! For those who are pop-culture challenged, the woman is Julia Roberts. That brings several possibilities for joint Hollywood-Bollywood chick flicks par excellence:
1. The saffron brigade starts giving out free tickets to the movie Julia Roberts made in India last year.
2. The Shaktas in India start figuring out the best way to indoctrinate Julia as the High Priestess of Pataudi.
3. There are commotions from the Kamakshi temple in Assam to Meenakshi temple in Tamil Nadu and from the Kali temple in Kolkata to Mahalakshmi temple in Mumbai for special pujas.
4. Sonia Gandhi, worried that she is likely to be upstaged in popularity by an American woman, discusses with the Vatican to obtain a special Papal dispensation for practicing dual religionship.
5. Shahrukh Khan does not wish to be upstaged in popularity by two Gora women. He is consulting the top ten astrologers in India to decide upon the most propitious date for conversion to Hindu religion. The Shah-i-Imam issues a fatwa and Khan goes incognito (agnaata-vaasam).
6. In Dubai, the nervous painter M. F. Hussain is consulting the professors from J. N. University in New Delhi on the likely fallout.
7. Professors from the J.N. University leave New Delhi for a month-long huddle session at Aligarh Muslim University to come out with the most positive secular spin on Julia Roberts’ conversion to Hinduism.
8. The Marxists in West Bengal and Kerala, the Naxalites in Srikakulam district of Andhra Pradesh, and Maoists in Jharkhand declare a week-long “India Bandh” protesting Julia’s conversion to Hinduism.
9. Since the word “Juli” means “twin” in Marathi, many Maharashtrians are wondering why no one is talking about Julia’s sister.
10. Bal Thakaray sends a few Shivasainiks to USA to tell Julia Roberts’ sister that if she becomes a Hindu, Shivasena will get her elected as the Mayor of Mumbai for life.
e-mail: ajmarathi@yahoo.com