By Kollengode S Venkataraman in January 1998

The ever-changing characteristics of families in the US have far-reaching social, economic, and political consequences beyond directly affecting the lives of parents and children. The following table tells us how families in the US have changed in the last quarter of a century. With divorce having become so common, nearly 22% of homes, that is, more than 1 in 5 homes, are headed by single parents now. In 1970, this number was 13%.

The number of families headed by women has jumped from 5.5 million in 1970 to 12.2 million in 1995, a 120% increase. Nonprofessional working women ‘s earning power is still significantly less than men’s earnings, whether one is white, black, yellow, brown, or any hue in between. So, we can visualise the impact of this trend on home economics and raising children in homes headed by nonprofessional single women. This is in addition to the physical stresses working women endure in juggling low paying jobs and household chores.

Families headed by single fathers also have increased from 1.2 million in 1970 to 3.2 million in 1995, still a low number when compared to the number of homes headed by single mothers. Even in these “modern times,” child reading and nurturing still fall on the women ‘s lap, who are already economically strapped with low-paying jobs, as has been the case from primitive times.

When a large number of homes have similar problems, the consequences of these problems spill outside the homes and eventually become problems for communities, cities, and nations. Ultimately, everybody feels the pinch and pays the price in tangible ways (like increasing crime and a sense of insecurity and the disappearance of safe neighbourhoods), and in intangible ways like polarized communities.

The divorce rates among Asians here — immigrants from China, Korea, and the Indian subcontinent — are rather low. It may be different among our kids. Because even though our children see Asian values in their interactions with their parents, uncles and aunties, they imbibe the mainstream social values they see the moment they step out, turn on the TV, or go on the net. This is inevitable. Hence, it is unrealistic to expect that the divorce rate among our children will be as low as it was among their parents. Safety, one may say, it will eventually come closer to the divorce rates among the American mainstream.

Also, despite our public posturing on traditional values, selectively and unconsciously, we ourselves are continuously assimilating the mainstream values, particularly when they suit our convenience. Therefore, we will be a lot more tolerant of our children’s conjugal decisions both before and after their marriage.

This is one practical reason, among so many other good ones, why our sons and daughters should have good education and a good value system. Usually, unfortunately, not always, good value system inculcated in one’s youth and good education lead to personal responsibility, setting priorities in different stages in life, and realistic expectations in one ‘s adult life.

Therefore, with education and good values, we may hope our children are less likely to become the unpleasant part of family statistics in the next census due at the turn of the new Millennium.

Should they, however, become part of the painful statistic, we can only hope that education will give them the necessary economic resources to live and raise children independently. And the good value system will help them to handle better the entirely man-made crisis of family life, such as divorces. End.

Changing character of families in the US. January 19. 98.

The ever-changing characteristics of families in the US have far-reaching social, economic, and political consequences beyond directly affecting the lives of parents and children. The following table tells us how families in the US have changed in the last quarter of a century. With divorce having become so common, nearly 22% of homes, that is, more than 1 in 5 homes, are headed by single parents now. In 1970, this number was 13%.

The number of families headed by women has jumped from 5.5 million in 1970 to 12.2 million in 1995, a 120% increase. Nonprofessional working women ‘s earning power is still significantly less than men’s earnings, whether one is white, black, yellow, brown, or any hue in between. So, we can visualise the impact of this trend on home economics and raising children in homes headed by nonprofessional single women. This is in addition to the physical stresses working women endure in juggling low paying jobs and household chores.

Families headed by single fathers also have increased from 1.2 million in 1970 to 3.2 million in 1995, still a low number when compared to the number of homes headed by single mothers. Even in these “modern times,” child reading and nurturing still fall on the women ‘s lap, who are already economically strapped with low-paying jobs, as has been the case from primitive times.

When a large number of homes have similar problems, the consequences of these problems spill outside the homes and eventually become problems for communities, cities, and nations. Ultimately, everybody feels the pinch and pays the price in tangible ways (like increasing crime and a sense of insecurity and the disappearance of safe neighbourhoods), and in intangible ways like polarized communities.

The divorce rates among Asians here — immigrants from China, Korea, and the Indian subcontinent — are rather low. It may be different among our kids. Because even though our children see Asian values in their interactions with their parents, uncles and aunties, they imbibe the mainstream social values they see the moment they step out, turn on the TV, or go on the net. This is inevitable. Hence, it is unrealistic to expect that the divorce rate among our children will be as low as it was among their parents. Safety, one may say, it will eventually come closer to the divorce rates among the American mainstream.

Also, despite our public posturing on traditional values, selectively and unconsciously, we ourselves are continuously assimilating the mainstream values, particularly when they suit our convenience. Therefore, we will be a lot more tolerant of our children’s conjugal decisions both before and after their marriage.

This is one practical reason, among so many other good ones, why our sons and daughters should have good education and a good value system. Usually, unfortunately, not always, good value system inculcated in one’s youth and good education lead to personal responsibility, setting priorities in different stages in life, and realistic expectations in one ‘s adult life.

Therefore, with education and good values, we may hope our children are less likely to become the unpleasant part of family statistics in the next census due at the turn of the new Millennium.

Should they, however, become part of the painful statistic, we can only hope that education will give them the necessary economic resources to live and raise children independently. And the good value system will help them to handle better the entirely man-made crisis of family life, such as divorces. ∎

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